Very long time lurker, first time poster! I’m combating the paranoia that someone I am aware will see this and somehow understand who I am, and realize just how broken my mind is — but here goes nothing. Extremely long story (somewhat) short, I have been living with my ex for any year now which has leveled upward my bpd by about 40%. She’s an awesome person and helped me determine and work through a lot of things during our own time together, and now that she’s on the point of move out I’ve become a total container case and have been splitting to and fro with Formula 1 speeds. Just like I neared peak madness, the girl got dressed and put on make-up to FaceTime with whoever. Cue heart racing, head spinning, frosty in time, “my brain is about to reason itself right the f away from my skull” panic attack. So I went. I booked the next flight house and cried to my mother regarding all of the injustices in the world. This also were the first time I told my mom — who has a doctorate in mindset – about my bpd analysis. After she helped talk myself through things and feel a little better, she concludes with: “You know, it’s pretty selfish plus indulgent for you to spend time thinking about the bpd diagnosis. Focus on all the those who have it worse than you and proceed volunteer or something. ” Therefore… fuck. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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