The boyfriend & I have been dating pertaining to well over 1 . 5 yrs ( he says 2 but we split up for a few mos). That being said I’ve been unsure of my emotions completely for him. Backtracking a bit; whenever we met i had just broke free of a very abusive highly toxic 3yr relationship (& conceived a child). I was only 6mos out of it whenever we got together. And looking back personally i think it was way to quick. Back to exactly where we were. Ive ended us twice, then came back because I discover myself horribly confused by when im truly feeling a type of method or if its just the bpd. As of now we barely see eachother (i moved 70 miles aside due to circumstances of the ex) so when we do things are dull (emotionally & physically) at least for me. All of us barely text (he works a lot too) or talk otp. Whenever we do alot of times (lately) i actually end up just feeling annoyed plus busy myself so i cant speak. But heres the twist, i am the bad guy here (like seriously). In a sense i feel like the guys who also f**ked me over & our bf is the old me. He could be really sweet, kind, and just an excellent person. But we have differences that will im starting to see are becoming a problem (for me). I just dont feel as if im the one for him. Yet idk if its real or maybe the bpd. If it is real idk how to overcome this again to him & i dont know how to handle it will he try to give me reasons why i might be wrong. I just idk, also it hurts my chest. Pls somebody tell me what or how i can do that 😭😭😭😭
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